Before I gave birth to Fauna I often thought about all the topics I was soon be able to talk in my blog. I was looking forward to experience so many things and give my personal view about it. To share motherhood in my raw style. There are plenty of things to analyze and/or criticize. For example, the common phenomenon of people who tell you how to take care about your baby. Or, when your baby is crying, the unavoidable feeling of guiltiness that invades you, even if you know that everything is alright. Or how to breastfeed in public giving a shit about the thousand of eyes that surround you. Or how beautiful is life when your baby sleeps and how horrible can be the minutes before, especially when the little one is too tired.
I still want to do so, to write long speeches about my personal motherhood experiences. But to be honest, I don't find time to sit in front on the computer. When I do find the quietness I don't feel like spending it on front of a screen. I live the moment more than ever, and the rest of the time I am tired.
Sometimes, when Fauna is in a good mood, I think about sitting on front of the computer with her on my lap. But then I realize that this is not the way I want to be a mother. When I am with her and she is awake and relaxed I want to use this moments to connect. I know that this is what matters in the end. I guess it's obvious, but sometimes in the daily routine one can forget about focus in the important things.
As a mother you spend the whole day with this baby. You have to feed it, you have to hold it. You have to shake it when it wants to sleep. It's so much effort that when the baby is relaxed and open to the world you suddenly are tired and distracted. You are unmotivated to interact with the little one, face to face, smile to smile.
In conclusion, I find the time to connect with Fauna but I don't find so much time to connect with my personal hobbies such as my blog, or well... having sex with my husband.
There is a hobby that still fit with my lifestyle. I got a really nice camera and I made photos all the time. I hope that you as a reader enjoy my blog with lots of visuals and few words. I think that is going to be that way for the next months.
The last two weeks I was even more busy living the life (and forgetting internet) because I received visitors. First my life-long-best-friend Maria was around here for one week. The same day she left, my oldest brother Felix arrived for another. They slept in my couch so it was all about being together. And I loved it. I miss them already. We had a great time even if the daily plan was just to walk around the neighborhood (and not so far). It's also really nice to have a second pair of hands for whatever activity.
It was Thursday, 21.04.2016. The day before, we went to the Spanish consulate to get my Single Status Certificate that was finally ready, and which we were trying to realize for months already (it gets complicated when the Spanish Ministry take ages to send you your Birth Certificate, and sending you the wrong one more than once). It was the last paper we missed to be able to marry so we decided to go to the Standesamt (registry office) to check if all our documents were correct or if we still needed something else. We went to get an appointment for our marriage too. We wanted to marry as soon as posible since our baby is about to come. To be married before she born makes it all much easier, for bureaucratic matters. Manfred and I didn't care when we marry since our souls are already married long time ago. For us, this is a governmental process and we plan to make a personally meaningful ritual in the future. What I would call The Wedding Party. It will probably take place in Spain and we will invite our beloved ones to share our union.
However, it happened that the whole situation became really emotional. Especially since was all truly unexpected.
My great friend Maria had come to visit me and it was her last day in Berlin. Manfred and I felt a bit guilty to bring her to a boring office in her last hours of holidays. But she is endlessly lovely and understanding and said she didn't care. In the morning, when we were dressing up, I made jokes about the marriage. I said that perhaps they would marry us this very same day, as you can do in Las Vegas, and therefore I should wear a dress in any case. I kind of had a premonition. So, even if a don't take my premonitions seriously to not get disappointed, I knew it was important to be prepared.
We went there, the three of us. Manfred and I were in a office with a women who was checking our documents. She was charming and funny. She dressed all in soft pink and she had a big cupboard covered with pictures of teddy bears drinking tee, gardening, playing in the beach... She found us charming too and make all kind of nice comments about my pregnancy and about how cute we were. When she looked the calendar for the next posible marriage appointment it was on the 8th of May.
"Mmm. It's a bit tight, isn't it?" She said referring to my birth date.
"Let see... perhaps tomorrow in the morning at nine o'clock?" She continued.
"Oh! Wait, how about today?" she finally claimed.
Manfred and I look to each other: "Really? Today? Now? Yes, of course!"
The women suddenly remembered that we needed a translator. Manfred and I were scared for a second that the whole thing wouldn't work out. The women smiled and said: "But you are understanding everything now, right?" I urgently confirmed that I was understanding everything: "Ja, ja" (big smile on my face, sweaty hands). Then she said loudly, so that the other women, the one that is actually the authority for the marriage, could listen: "Oh yes, I will test you now". And while saying this she winked at me.
So, just like that, we went on the crazy adventure of our marriage.
We talk with the women who was the civil registration officer and who makes sure that we marry on our free will and all this stuff. I was really nervous, trying to look secure so that the officer wouldn't doubt about my german language understanding. She seemed to accept my confirmation face and went to prepare the final document.
A little bit later Manfred, Maria and me were entering with the officer in the room where marriages take place. The room had the decorative intention to be elegant and special. It even had a pot of flowers. Despite we were doing the whole thing in the faster version and without the typical traditions (no rings interchange, no music, no guests) the officer tried to make it romantic. She read a nice poem and made photos of all of us. Manfred cried of happiness. Maria too. I was too nervous and surprised to cry, but a couple of tears fell down when the poem was read by the officer. It was all so beautifully crazy, so out-of-the-norm. I realized in this moment that this is how our life is and how it always work perfect for us. We are often out of the norm. It is our style.
I feel blessed by the casualty of life. I'm fortunate to celebrate my love with no extra expectation: it makes this day more perfect than if we would have planed it. I was extremely lucky to have Maria next to me in this important moment of my life, being part of all of this because Reality wanted it like that. I said it already but I may repeat it: We are truly the lucky ones.
After the marriage the three of us went to eat something. We wanted to celebrate despite Maria was already having not much time before her fly back to Madrid. She took a taxi to the airport to have a little bit more time to eat with us. It was a beautiful afternoon. The sun shined and life was better than ever.
Side note: Dear Spanish and German family and friends, do not worry. We promise you we will make a huge great party to give you the opportunity to celebrate our love with us. Just be patient, please, so that we are able to make it as we really desire it to be.
Manfred and I have always been the coffee-and-cigarette breakfast kind of people. There is a pervert pleasure in this combination but I am aware it is a really bad routine. It doesn't help you to start the day with a clear brain. It doesn't give you any kind of energy or nutrition. And if you are able to be honest to yourself you realize that it doesn't makes you feel good either. It is more of a psychological need, the caffeine and the nicotine. Your mind wants it but your body doesn't. Actually, that first coffee gives you a false feeling of clearness and that first cigarette makes you dizzy again.
We often make secret jokes about the people that live a perfectly healthy life. Somehow we don't want to identify ourselves with this lifestyle because we also have this romantic view about being fucked up. We actually are aware of the benefits of living healthily and we try to keep a balance between both ways of living. Keeping clean bodies but, time to time, poisoning them in lovely dosis. The funny thing is that, without extra intention on it, we are getting more into the healthy side of the balance. Perhaps we are feeling old. Probably we are just getting more connected to the needs of our organism. We know we should listen to it and please its request.
Some months ago Manfred quitted smoking cigarettes completely. Already before he had combined smoking cigarettes with smoking e-cigarette, to reduce smoking the first ones. Eventually he realized he enjoys more the e-cigarette (which is also more playful in terms of choosing the right device and the right aroma). I quitted smoking because I had no choice being pregnant and all. But we both stuck to starting the day with a coffee.
Anyhow, last month Manfred got a strong flu after riding the bike under the rain (such a strong flu that he had hallucinations while sleeping, he was so sweet being so helpless...) I bought plenty of ginger, lemons and honey and I kept making him drink this tea three times a day, starting at breakfast time. I did the tea for me too and I realized that I didn't miss the coffee. Drinking the tea we both felt more clear and awake. We felt stronger and cleaner. Since then I try to avoid this first morning coffee. If I do drink a coffee, I do it later in the day. I go to a coffee place in my neighborhood which is really charming and has nice music in the background. There, they make the best coffee of the district: great quality and prepared slowly and with love. I transform the coffee ritual in something special.
At home I change the coffee-and-cigarette for the tea-and-a-bowl-of-goodness. The tea is, as I already described, a mix of fresh ginger, lemon and honey. Sometimes, if I had it at home, I add fresh mint. The bowl contains yogurt, puffed oats, walnut, apple, banana, a bit of honey and some kind of berry (sometimes strawberries, sometime raspberries, sometime blueberries). When I am feeling enthusiastic I buy the ingredients in the BIO supermarket but to be honest it only makes a different with the yogurt, lemon and honey.
Sometimes, at the weekend, I do scramble eggs too. I love them, I love eggs (the eggs are also specially tasty when they are BIO). Below, pictures of different breakfast times. Also, breakfast in company is always nicer.
Some time ago I promised to show you Golden Girrrls but as I have no discipline -big problem as a blogger- a month has past already. So here I am talking about it:
Golden Girrrls are four different minds, four different styles...a lot of wonderful creations.
A group of fashion designers -Anett Hoffmann, Majvi Hoffmann, Katharina Kraft & Anet Schmieder- had been showing their unique pieces for just two months. Manfred, María and me went there to try out everything and, of course, we fell in love with some items. Now I'm the owner of that slithery purple dress that you can see below. María received for her birthday the flower patterned skirt with lace details. So we both have original and exclusive design pieces. ^.^
